To Feel In Control
by HouseAddict16
Summary: Post 'No Reason' House knows about the Ketamine and could be experiencing side effects from the treatment...Cameron shooting House? HouseWilson friendship
1. Chapter 1

**To Feel In Control**

Ch. 1

He opened his eyes and it was dark, dark and murky. It took him a minute to figure out where he was and once he did shear terror filled his body. He was under water, deep down in the darkest part. He looked around, but his eyes became blurry and he struggled for breath. His attempts at kicking to reach the surface were failed as a searing white hot pain filled his leg and rushed up it to his head. Blinded by the pain he pushed with his arms in an effort to reach the surface and breathe oxygen again instead of the water he was slowly taking in. He swam harder and harder, kicking with one leg and pulling with his arms, but the water just kept coming and coming, he felt as if he would never find the surface again.

Suddenly he opened his eyes again, fighting the white hot pain and found himself in his room, in his house. He sat up violently searching the room and finding the clock on the night stand. It was still pitch black, but his eyes adjusted to find that it was 3 AM. He was covered in sweat, as if he had gone for a 10 mile run and collapsed in bed. He got up, reached the bathroom, removed his sopping garments, took a shower and tried to recap what he had just experienced. He remembered that he fell asleep fairly quickly, after taking that run before dinner he was pretty exhausted with work and his run. After an episode of two of television and a shower he turned into bed and drifted away. Then he remembered the vivid drowning dream, and his struggle to breathe air. Something wouldn't let him get to the surface and he felt that the water was going to take his life. Then he woke up. He then realized that he was in the shower and was a little nervous, water suddenly scared him. He knew he would never drown in the shower but decided that that was enough water for one night and after finding a towel, sat on the couch in the dark.

"What is going on? I never dream like that, let alone dream at all." He thought about why he dreamt what he did, but decided to write it off as one of those things that just happens from time to time. Considering that it was close to 4AM now, he just watched television and drifted in and out until he heard his alarm sound in his room at 9:20. Waking groggy and still in his towel only he got ready for work, but skipped the morning run. Being up and down since 3 he decided that he didn't need to work his body too hard yet this morning. Hopefully Cuddy and Wilson wouldn't notice that he didn't run to work today, he could make up something if they did and rode to work, hoping to clear his dream from his head completely and focus instead on what kind of puzzle he would have to solve today.


	2. Chapter 2

**To Feel In Control**

Ch. 2

His arrival was about the same time, but his wardrobe was not and both Cuddy and Wilson noticed this. He tried to avoid them, but Wilson still approached.

"How are you today? No run?"

"Nope, no run. Wanted to sleep."

Wilson could tell that this was a lie, considering how tired House really looked. He couldn't hide that with some clean clothes and no limp.

"Sleep huh? Looks like you were lacking some last night. Anything I should know about?"

"Not really, just a rough night. Haven't had one in a while, but I can still deal with them."

"Pain?"

"No…just had a lot on my mind."

House got to his office and let himself in, Wilson didn't follow him. He believed that House wasn't completely lying, but was a little concerned that he let him call him on his lies. Usually he denied them altogether or they were too good that he could pawn them off as the truth. The team had a good case and that helped take over and erase the dream he had had over the night. He just let it go, told himself it didn't mean anything and kept on going with life as it was. He was in a whole different spirit since his getting shot and the Ketamine. He enjoyed his runs and the lack of limp he had. He felt better about himself and it was apparent through his work. He was even more accurate than he was prior to the shooting and could create much more chaos now that he was mobile. He ventured outdoors more frequently and could be found on a skateboard from time to time. Everyone seemed to enjoy the pain free version of the brilliant doctor. He was still sarcastic as hell, and was still the same House, but the crabby side had been dulled and that was good for everyone.

He met Wilson for lunch and they had a good time. The usual discussions of who was hot, who was not and what they should do with their free time. It was the typical discussion until Wilson brought up this mornings conversation.

"You seem better than you were this morning."

"Why do you say that?"

"You look better, less distracted, less tired."

"Coffee will do that to you."

"Sure you didn't have something on your mind? It's not your leg is it? You need to tell me if it is."

"I did have something on my mind, but it's gone now."

"And your leg?"

"Will you stop pestering me if I tell you?"

"Sure."

"I had an intense dream, I was under water and I couldn't reach the air and my leg hurt…a lot. But it was just a dream, no pain, nothing. I'm fine, nothing to worry about. I just let the dream get to me."

"Alright. But if something was wrong you would let me know right?"

"Of course, this is my health we are talking about."

Both pagers went off and they had to scurry away from lunch and handle the latest problems in their cases. They didn't discuss anything further that day and met again after work at House's this time. More frequently they had been hanging out, House didn't have any increased pain to hide and they had gotten close since House's rehab from the shooting had him at home for weeks. He hadn't gotten Wilson to run with him, but that was fine with him. He enjoyed his free time alone with the outdoors and working up a sweat.

They spent the evening together, take out and movies, the usual. They mutually enjoyed each other's company and were glad that they had time to spend with each other. The shooting made Wilson realize that House could just leave him one day and he wasn't ready for that. They are brothers, and one cannot be without the other. It was pretty late when Wilson left. He left House snoozing on the couch, leaving a note on the coffee table saying that they would see each other tomorrow he let himself out. He knew House was tired from the night before; the dream must have really shaken him. Wilson was tired himself and didn't mind leaving.

He was on the couch for a good amount of time, he was as Wilson thought, still tired from the night before and didn't feel that he had enough energy for a run that night, or else he would have before he zonked out on the couch with Wilson watching the movie. The hours passed and he slept on his couch. Suddenly he heard his alarm go off and he sat up. He reached over with his right hand and hit the alarm to turn it off so he could think. He fell asleep on the couch at around 11 and it was now 9:20 and he was in his bed. He felt rested but knew that Wilson did not put him in bed. Feeling very confused he got ready for work and through out that morning repeated to himself, "What the hell is going on? Am I ok?"


	3. Chapter 3

**To Feel In Control**

Ch. 3

He knew that Wilson would pick up on his thoughts today. His mind was still swimming; something was telling him that something serious could be going on. He didn't want to bring attention to it though. He didn't need his world to come crashing down because he was losing his mind, or at least thought he was. What was he going to do? Maybe he was just sleep walking and just thought he blacked out, but he wasn't known for sleep walking or even dreaming for that matter. It would take some extra effort today but he was going to try to keep it out of his head and just focus on the case work today. If he could just make it back home today he would be fine.

"What da we got?" House asked as he walked into his office to find all three in the conference room and Cameron using his markers on his pretty white board. They briefly discussed the case and while the ducklings went to do the usual tests House decided to sit in his favorite chair and listen to some music to help put his mind at ease. Between songs he drifted off and woke up again, still in his office. He stood up and walked into the conference room to find it exactly the way it was before, but Cameron was there. She was sitting in the room all by herself and was staring at him.

"What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in the lab?"

"I've been waiting for you."

"Waiting for what? Get out of here and do your job."

"I've had enough of you pushing me around, telling me what to do."

"If you stuck to your opinions I wouldn't push you."

"I'm sticking to this one." With that Cameron pulled out a gun and pointed it at him.

"Where's your sarcasm now House? Your witty retort to my opinion. You always have one."

"Cameron, come on now. Be sensible."

"Oh this makes so much sense. Goodbye House."

With that Cameron pulled the trigger and House froze. He wanted to run but couldn't.

Suddenly House jumped, almost a foot out of this chair. Someone had touched his shoulder and woken him up.

"What the hell?"

"House you ok? You were sweating and looking all panicky."

"How would you know what I look like when I'm all panicky? What do you want?"

"I wanted to check on you. I know your panic face. I've known you too long not to. When Stacy was going to leave and you could tell, you looked panic stricken."

"Well thanks for waking me up. Wilson?"

"Yeah…"

"Can we talk in private, uh after lunch?"

"Of course."

Cameron walked in with the test results and Wilson saw a look of nervous-ness and maybe even fright in House's eyes when she walked in. He let her report and told her what to do next and then she left. Wilson continued the conversation.

"House, you need to talk to me now, in my office."

"No, let's do it later."

"No, when you look nervous and scared around Cameron you and I need to talk now."

The two of them entered Wilson's office and he locked the door behind him. No one was going to interrupt this conversation, and also House wasn't leaving until he had told him everything. He made a phone call and then put the automatic voice mail on so that they weren't disrupted and House could use the phone call as a get away.

"Alright now tell me everything. I'm here as a friend who just happens to be a doctor as well. I care about you and your health is included in that. You obviously aren't healthy right now, is it the Ketamine?"

"I think it might be. Remember that dream? Well, this morning I woke up in my bed and last night I was asleep on the couch."

"Yeah I left you there, didn't want to wake you."

"That's fine. Then today I fell asleep in my office and had a sort of hallucination or dream or something and Cameron was in the conference room and was going to shoot me because I tell her what to do and shoot down her ideas or something."

"In the hallucination?"

"Yeah. That's why I was a little nervous when she came in, because I wasn't sure if I dreamed that or if it was really going to happen." He paused and Wilson just sat there. "I just want to feel in control of my life, I can't be in control when my mind is playing games with me and getting me all paranoid."

"You're right. Let's think about how to get your control back. Any other symptoms besides the dreams and black outs?"

"Not really, no. Had a headache this morning, but thought it was just because of the alcohol and the lack of water intake from yesterday."

"I'm not sure what's going on, let's get a CT of your brain and go from there. Do you want me to get Cuddy involved? She'd want to know."

"No, you are just playing friend with an MD not and MD with a sick friend."

"Right, let me schedule that CT. You need a relaxant to calm you down?"

"I get off the Vicodin and you are prescribing relaxants now?"

"Just to take your edge off, you look like Cameron is really gonna shoot you."

"She might, maybe I could use one. A light one, I don't want to sleep for a while."

Wilson made a phone call and after scheduling the CT for later that evening he filled a prescription for House. Returning to his office he found House still on his couch.

"Take one and hang out here. If the team needs you they will page you or something. If they need you they will find you. Just take it easy until they seek you out."

"Thanks Jimmy. Always there. I'm here for you, and you're here for me."

"Now that's the sedative talking."

"You're right, it is. By the way, I like your eyes. Only time I could say it, and blame it on the drugs."

"Good night Greg."

He was waiting for the retort of 'you never call me Greg' but when he looked over he found a sleeping House. He would stay there until House got up, incase his sedative endused dream was too much for him, as the last one was.


End file.
